Of Idiots, Crushes, and Nosebleeds
by Flare Dragoness Reshiram
Summary: Great... I have just succeeded in humiliating myself beyond repair... I'll just wait for the floor to open up and swallow me whole... and the floor's not budging... Link x Pit. Yaoi. Oneshot.


Wow

**Wow. Two new oneshots in one month? That's a new record…**

**I haven't written any yaoi stories in a while, so I'll come back from my yaoi hiatus and do this oneshot. Anyways, this is Link/Pit. This is my all-time favorite Brawl yaoi pairing, and there just doesn't seem to be enough of it… So here it is. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer:**** I own the fic. I own Smash Manor. Nintendo owns Link, Pit, and Super Smash Brothers. One day I will own Nintendo… somehow.**

**Note:**** I couldn't think of a better title. Sorry. And some of the story will be from Pit's POV. **

_**Of Idiots, Crushes, and Nosebleeds**_

_When you first see me, what do see?_

_An adorable little angel who's all cute and innocent and naïve? Someone who's nice and knows nothing of the adult nature and has the nickname of "Cupid?"_

_Yeah, that's what you see, but not what you get._

_Don't let my appearance fool you: I'm not as innocent as I look nor am I naïve or completely nice._

_I'm not stupid, either. I know more about adult subjects than Falco and Falcon combined. I'm about as much of a cocky bastard as I can be sometimes, and I will occasionally throw a few curse words around. And don't even THINK about calling me "Cupid," "Angel-boy," or anything of the like… unless you want to have my knuckle sandwich for lunch._

_But enough of that… today's going to be an insane day. I can feel it. So just sit down, shut up, and enjoy the show._

Pit sat at his usual table in the dining room of Smash Manor with Samus, Falco, and Ike as they ate their breakfast. Samus had Falco in a headlock as punishment for an incident that had occurred the day before, "I though I told your simple-minded ass to stop filming me in the shower!"

Ike leaned over to Pit and whispered, "He put the video on Youtube and it already has over 500,000 hits…" which made the angel snicker like crazy.

Suddenly, Falco looked up, "Yo, Link…"

_Oh crap… Link's coming this way!_

_Link… one of the most elite fighters of the tournament… he's so strong and kind…_

…_If you can't tell, I have a boy crush on Link. Yeah, you heard me right: I'm an angel who's attracted to a guy. Fucking sue me._

The hero in green stood at their table and politely greeted them, "Hey, guys…" he cast the angel a special look, "Hey, Pit…"

"Hey, Link…" Pit said calmly while his heart beat out of his chest.

Ike and Samus shot each other a look and started laughing. Pit rolled his eyes, "The Hades are you two laughing at?"

"What do you think we're laughing at?" the bounty huntress replied.

_Ch. Of course…_ "You guys are such idiots…"

"As you kindly remind us everyday…" said Ike.

_Whatever…_ "So, Link, what are you up to today?"

Link sat on the arm of Pit's chair, "Well, I was planning on taking Yoshi to the Target grounds. I want to see if I can beat my best record--"

He was abruptly cut off by Peach, who had suddenly come into the dining room, "Hi, Link. Do you think you could be a dear and help me outside, please?"

"Sure…. I'll catch up with you later, Pit…" With that, he stood up, gave Pit a wink, and followed Peach to the backyard.

_Link… What is it about him that just attracts me to him? Maybe his harsh yet gentle cerulean eyes? Maybe his unruly dark blond hair? Probably his friendly personality… Whatever it is, I'm certainly not immune to his charms._

"Hey, Pit, snap out of it!" Ike yelled, waving a hand in front of the angel's face.

"HuhWhat?" He snapped out of his trance, looked at Ike, and glared at him.

"Aww… were you gazing at Linkie McDreamy again?" Nana teased in a babyish tone, making Falco laugh like a buck wild hyena.

_What do you think…? And where the Hades did she come from?!_

Pit's face turned bright red, "Shut up! And get your hand out of my face!" he demanded, smacking the swordsman's limb out of the way.

"So, when are you going to tell him?" Samus asked, releasing Falco from the headlock.

"Tell who what?" the angel asked defiantly.

"Tell Link that you like him…" she replied.

"Yeah, we all know you do…" Nana added.

Pit continued feigning ignorance, "I have no clue what you idiots are talking about…"

"Oh, don't play stupid with us, Pit. Everyone here knows that you have a thing for him," the Ice Climber firmly said.

"Seriously, you people are talking complete nonsense…" Pit replied, knowing that he was fighting a losing battle. He knew that as far as the Manor's knowledge of his crush on Link was concerned, it was a "Don't ask, don't tell" situation.

"Oh, we are? Now if I remember correctly, there was a certain someone who fell asleep in class last week and was mumbling Link's name in his sleep…" replied Falco.

_Son of a…!_

"That's total bull…"

Samus chipped in, "…And whose notebook has Link's name written all over it?"

"Why you little…"

However, Ike put the nail in his coffin, "And who is it that wrote _'I want to fuck Link so badly'_ in their journal?"

_I could swear I just heard a scream and some glass breaking…_

"You READ my fucking journal?! Have you no sense of privacy?!"

"Don't try changing the subject. You like Link so much that you're ready to explode," Samus said matter-of-factly.

"Shut up!" he yelled in her face.

"I will when you tell him… Frankly, I'm curious as to whether or not Link's into you as well…"

Pit was only a few seconds from losing his temper, "If you're that goddamn desperate to find out, YOU TELL HIM!!"

Nana, Ike, and Falco looked back and forth between the two for a couple of seconds as the angel and the bounty huntress stared each other down.

…

…

"Fine…" Samus finally said, "I'll go and tell him right now…"

"You go do that…" Pit said skeptically. But when Samus got up and started heading for the backyard, it snapped on him that she wasn't joking, "Oh crap, you're serious!"

"As a heart attack…" she replied, not looking back.

"What the--" Pit bolted out of his seat and ran after her, "No! There is no way in Hades you're telling Link anything! He'll kill me!"

"You don't know that, Pit… Stop being so closed-minded and try being a little more optimistic."

"Yeah… O.J.'s wife tried that same shit; you saw what happened to her…" the angel muttered.

Samus gave up, "…Whatever…" She looked over her shoulder when she heard footsteps behind her, "Oh, hey guys…"

Pit did the same only to see Nana, Ike, and Falco, "What the Hades are you two doing?"

"Following you," Ike said, stating the obvious.

"Yeah, I don't want to miss this. I might get to see some boy-on-boy action!" Falco added, punching the air.

Pit rolled his eyes, "…You two are so gay…"

Nana nudged him in the back, "Says the guy who's crushing on Li--"

"Shut up!"

At those words, the five Smashers found themselves outside in the spacious backyard of the Manor. Pit's heart immediately began racing in fear and anticipation.

_Hades… I can't let Samus tell Link!_

"Yo, Pit, you okay? You're turning red in the face--"

Pit finally freaked, grabbed Falco by the collar, and started shaking him like a crazed maniac, "OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY! I'M HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS HERE!!"

"Chill, Pit. I'll go find Link…" Samus announced as she searched around the yard for the Hylian.

_This can't be happening! Please don't let her find Link! Otherwise, I'm dead. I'll be screwed!_

…_Not that I don't want to be screwed. I would love that; especially with Link—Goddamn, shut up, Pit! Oh great, now that mental picture is never going away… I need a miracle!_

A few agonizing minutes later, an out-of-breathe Samus reappeared, "Link's not out here…"

_...Yes!_

"…but I just asked Ness, and he said that he and Peach went back into the dining room for brunch," she finished.

…_Crud… Note to self: Kill that kid!_

"Come on, let's head back in--"

"NO WAY!! I'm not telling Link a damn thing! Nope. Sorry. You're out of luck. You'll have to drag me into that mansion kicking and screaming!" the angel declared in defiant protest, crossing his arms and pouting to emphasize his point.

Samus, Nana, Ike, and Falco exchanged looks and they smiled as they looked back at Pit. He automatically figured out what they were about to do. "…_You mortals wouldn't dare_…" he hissed in disbelief.

Without warning, the four Smashers grabbed Pit by each of his limbs and began taking him into the mansion as he kicked and screamed, "I didn't mean that shiz literally! Put me down, dammit! PUT ME DOWN!!"

-x-x-x-x-x-

Marth, Lucario, and Metaknight were sitting at their usual table by the water fountain eating an early lunch when Pit suddenly went sailing over their heads, screaming his lungs out as he crashed head-first into the neighboring table.

"Bull's-eye…" Samus replied pompously as she and the other three stood at the door.

Pit jumped up and yelled, "Samus, what the Hades did you do that for?! I could've broken a wing!"

Falco chuckled as he gave the blond bounty huntress a pat on the back, "Nice throw, Sam."

"Hey, Pit! Nice of you to, uh… 'drop in'…" said a familiarly deep voice.

The angel felt his heart freefall. He turned around only to meet eyes with Link and Peach, "…H-Hey, Link… Peach…'

_Call the White House: I'm officially dead…_

Link smiled with a bit of concern, "You okay, Pit? You seem a bit… off…"

"Me?" Pit laughed nervously, but unconvincingly, "Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine… I'm just great! Peachy-keen!"

Peach stood up, "Are you sure? You don't seem like yourself…"

"That's because he's got a little secret to tell Link," Samus announced, now standing behind Pit with Ike, Nana, and Falco in her wake.

Pit spun around and glared at her as he whispered, "_Are you out of your mind?!"_

"A secret?" Link asked curiously, standing up, "What kind of secret?"

"Oh, it's a juicy secret…" the bounty huntress replied mischievously, spinning Pit around by the shoulders so that he was facing Link, "Go ahead, tell him."

"Yeah, Pit, tell him…" said Ike.

_I can't do this…_

"Come on, Angel-boy, we don't have all day!" Falco said impatiently.

_Will you guys shut the Hades up for a minute?!_

"Guys, don't pressure him…" Peach commanded in a motherly tone.

"You're making him nervous…" Link chimed in.

_Thanks Link and Peach… I owe you one…_

Pit's mind was racing. The color in his cheeks slowly became redder and redder and his heart was literally trying to jump out of his chest.

_What the Hades do I do now?! Mommy, help me!_

"Pit…?" Link questioned, noticing the panicky expression on the angel's face. The look on the Hylian's face at that moment made him look so sexy that the angel had a sudden burst of confidence.

…_Here goes everything…_

Without warning, Pit gently grabbed Link's face and kissed him right on the lips.

Samus, Nana, and Peach gasped, Falco and Metaknight stared in disbelief, Marth passed out, Ike and Lucario only stared with wide eyes and jaws on the floor, but Link and Pit were lost in their own little world.

_His lips are so soft and sweet! I want to stay like this forever and I don't give a damn that the whole mansion is probably looking at us, and—WHAT THE HADES AM I DOING?!_

Pit immediately pulled away, breaking the kiss and questioning his own stupidity as he looked at Link. He was now waiting for the Hylian to ball up his fist and punch his lights out.

Link, on the other hand, just stared at Pit in a dazed state, his cheeks a little pink and warm, _'Did he just do that? Did he really just kiss me?'_

Peach put a hand on Link's shoulder, "Link, are you okay? Say something?" She didn't receive a response as her friend was still too shocked to say anything and Pit was mentally kicking himself.

_Great… I have just succeeded in humiliating myself beyond repair… I'll just wait for the floor to open up and swallow me whole…_

…

…

…_and the floor is not budging._

Unable to bear the stares, the look on Link's face, and his loss for words, Pit bolted out of the dining room, pushing past Samus in the process. A few moments later, a resounding slam was heard from upstairs.

Peach frowned at the door slam and lightly shook the Hylian's shoulder, "Link, go and see if he's alright."

"No, I'll go up and talk to him… He's just being a wuss right now, chickening-out like that--"

Link glared at Samus in disgust as his voice came back, "You should be the last person he sees. You probably pushed him to do this against his will!"

Ike and Nana looked at the floor, ashamed, "…I guess we did kinda force him into telling you…"

Link 'hmph'd' in total irritancy at their insensitivity and started walking to the stairs, "I'm going up there to talk to him, and no one better follow me unless they want my sword shoved somewhere unpleasant…"

-x-x-x-x-x-

Pit was laying on his bed with his face buried in his sky blue pillow.

_This is the worst, most embarrassing day of my immortal life… I am such an IDIOT! I'm going to be the laughing stock of the whole tournament!_

_And Link…_

_Link probably hates me now! He probably feels so embarrassed and violated… I wouldn't be surprised if he was on his way to kill me right now…_

Suddenly, the door opened, "…Pit?"

_Oh… shiz… She must be behind this…_

"Samus, why did you bring him up here?!"

"Uh, Samus isn't here; it's just me. I came up on my own to see of you were okay…" Link explained, closing the door and sitting on the edge of the mattress.

Pit sat up and met eyes with Link, and he was surprised to see the Hylian giving him a handsome smile, "So… that was your secret: You love me…"

…_More than immortal life itself…_

"You know, Pit…" Link began, "…I'm not stupid. I've known that you've had a crush on me for a long time now…"

"You have?" the angel asked, completely mortified.

But the Hylian continued to smile, "But, it's okay. I understand why you didn't tell me in the first place: You were afraid of humiliation… rejection… maybe even a bad reaction to your confession… but you showed that you love me so much that you didn't care about the possible end result and you kissed me in front of all our friends…"

Pit was ready to pass out, "Yeah… I did it because I couldn't speak at the moment…"

"Really?" Link could see right through him, "…Or did you do it because you figured that mere words couldn't completely convey your feelings toward me?"

_Well… that, too…_

Link suddenly got a cat-like smirk as he leaned his face close too Pit's to the point where their lips were barely touching. As the angel's heart started to beat faster and faster, the Hylian lustfully whispered, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do… this…" The last word melted into a low sigh as Link fully pressed his lips to Pit's, giving him a heartfelt kiss of affection to show that he shared the same feelings.

Unable to think straight, Pit closed his eyes and happily surrendered to the liplock He rested his arms around Link's neck and laid onto his back, pulling Link onto him.

What started as a simple kiss quickly turned into a passionate tongue-war, making the angel's temperature rise and before he knew it:

_Oh Sweet Mother of Palutena… looks like Pit Jr. has woken up…_

Link felt something hard poking him in the abdomen and when he looked between their bodies, he'd seen a mountain slowly showing through Pit's tunic. Amused, the Hylian said, "Seems like someone is getting a little excited…"

The angel simply blushed, and the Hylian smirked, "Well, we'll just have to take care of that, wont we?"

Clothes were then removed, and soon, Link and Pit were experiencing unfamiliar yet pleasurable feelings that drove their hearts through the clouds.

:Later:

Samus, Peach, Marth, Ike, Lucario, Metaknight, and Falco were sitting in the hallway just outside of the dorm Link and Pit were in at the moment.

Peach grabbed another tissue from the tissue box and cleaned the blood from her nose, "How long have they been at it now?"

Pit suddenly shouted Link's name as Marth looked up at the green analog clock hanging on the wall, "…Two hours…"

Link then moaned Pit's name, and Metaknight finally asked, "Why are we still sitting here?"

…

…

"…I don't know…" replied Samus, wiping away her third nosebleed.

"…Does anyone actually care?" Lucario asked, handing Peach another tissue.

…

…

"Nah…" the other six answered in unison.

--

**I think this came out pretty good. I think the title sucks, though. Thanks for reading, and please leave a nice review at the door!**

**-Midnight Crystal Sage**


End file.
